A Basket of Problems

Some years ago a group of conventioneers1 gathered at a ski resort to conduct their annual meeting.

It was autumn, so there was no snow and no skiing, but the town was picturesque2 and the fall scenery was as pretty as a postcard. The leaves were scarlet3 and the mountains surrounding the town were spectacular.

Hundreds of conventioneers came from every part of the country. Young and old, rich and poor, and in all shapes and sizes. They shared common interests, though their backgrounds and careers were quite varied.

Twenty of the conventioneers were put up at a large bed and breakfast4 near the outskirts5 of town. A little off the beaten path and nestled on the side of the mountain, the large Victorian house offered the perfect view and was an ideal setting for the weary travelers. After a few days, the guests became better acquainted, friendships developed, and a camaraderie6 was felt within the group.

The new-found friends seemed to particularly enjoy the light-hearted conversation that took place every evening after dinner in front of the inn’s huge stone fireplace. As the logs blazed, the fire cast a beautiful dancing glow around the main room. Some sat in rocking chairs, others snug-gled7 on the large sofas, and there were those who enjoyed sitting on the blankets and pillows on the floor. Everyone sipped their beverages8 and laughed at the stories told of their day’s convention activities.

But one night the stories around the fireplace took a different twist. The conversation turned serious when Mike, a young man in his 20’s, confessed that he had just been diagnosed with cancer. While it was treatable and he stood an excellent chance of being cured, he was nonetheless distraught9.

A middle-aged couple, Tom and Cheryl, offered their support and understanding. They had just been informed that their child needed a kidney transplant. The news had been emotionally devastating to the family.

A woman tearfully explained how she had recently lost her husband to a car accident. Another person told that he had just lost his job and was at his wit’s end10.

The evening turned gut-wrenching as others began to describe horrible aspects of their “normal” lives or lives of their loved ones. From depression and drug addiction, to eating disorders and relationship problems -- no one seemed immune from some sort of hardship.

Finally, an elderly gentleman -- a man who was at the convention by himself and only known to the group as Mr. Hayes -- interjected11 himself into the conversation.

Mr. Hayes had a distinguished look about him, and while no one knew exactly where he came from, he spoke with a gentle voice that engendered12 confidence and assuredness. During the past days, he had smiled and laughed, evidently enjoying the company, but he had not said very much. People just looked at him and thought he was a “nice old man.”

After listening to everyone’s concerns and problems, Mr. Hayes looked over at the hostess and asked her if she could get a paper and pen for everyone in the room. She returned in a minute, complying with the unusual request.

“Do me a favor,” Mr. Hayes asked. “We’re going to try something and I need your cooperation. On the small piece of paper please write down the 3 biggest problems you are facing in your personal life right now. Don’t sign your name. We’ll keep it confidential.”

The group began to ponder13 and found the experiment fascinating, not knowing what was to follow.

After everyone was done writing down their problems, Mr. Hayes asked everyone to fold their paper and place it in a small basket that was placed in front of the fireplace. There were curious looks throughout the room, but again, everyone cooperated, wondering what would happen next.

Mr. Hayes shook the basket and held it above everyone’s head as he walked around the room and asked each person to pick a paper from the basket. After he was done, he sat back down and looked around the room.

“Friends, open the paper and just read to yourself the problems that you chose,” Mr. Hayes explained. “And please, be as honest as you can.”

Then, Mr. Hayes glanced at the woman sitting on his left and asked, “Lisa, would you like to trade your problems that you wrote down with those that you chose from the basket?”

“No,” Lisa said.

Next, Mr. Hayes asked the man sitting next to Lisa the same question. “Would you like to trade the problems you wrote down for those that you chose from the basket?”

Again the reply was “No.”

Mr. Hayes went around the entire room. Everyone had a chance to respond.

Remarkably, the answers were all the same -- no, no, no, no, no... Comments ranged from “I can deal with my own problems, but I can’t deal with what I chose out of the basket,” to “Wow -- these make my problems look like nothing. Forget this.”

Mr. Hayes settled back in his cushioned rocking chair while the fire crackled in the background. (To be continued)